#PubliclyDiscipliningYourChild

When I was about 4 years old I had to go to a work meeting with my mom.  I can remember it was my mother's pay day and that meant that we were going to eat at McDonald's.  Like any 4 year old, I was impatient and not looking forward to sitting in an hour meeting.  So I chose to express my dislike of my mom's work meeting by throwing a temper tantrum.  My mother had a way of dealing with temper tantrums...a belt.  My mother looked down at me and told me in a calm voice "You just wait to we get home."  At that point, I knew that our bi-weekly trip to McDonald's was cancelled. 

I want to point out that my mom chose to discipline me when we got home.  There are some parents that need to take note of this.  Lately, parents have had the bright idea of disciplining their children in front of a camera and posting it online to sites like Youtube.  Back a couple of months, a young man who had taken on the role of playing father figure decided to punish his "play" son on video.  He did not whoop the child on camera but you could hear the child crying off screen.  The "father figure" then shaved the boy's head and made him run physical drills outside.  In another case, a man recorded himself whooping his nephew after finding out the young man was in a gang (Unfortunately, in this case the young man was found shot to death, possibly linked to his gang affiliation).  I feel in both cases the men's hearts were in the right place, but the execution was poor (I purposely chose not to post the videos on here because I do not agree with their tactics).

There is a difference between discipline and humiliation. A child learns from discipline and becomes a better person.  Humiliation can be damaging to a child, especially if this humiliation is put on the Internet (what is put on the Internet stays on the Internet forever).  No person should have to be repeatedly humiliated after they have initially been punished.  Note to Parents: Discipline your child when needed but the rest of the world does not need a front row viewing of it. 

#HangingOnTooLong

Have you ever said the words: "Why are men so sex crazed?", "Where are all the good men?".  Or let's not forget this classic: "He's a dog!" We, women, have been using these lines to describe the opposite sex since  our attraction with them began (Even though it has never been recorded I am pretty sure Eve had some choice words for Adam every now and again).  When our delicate hearts are broken we call our girls, order some Chinese take out and have an all out word brawl about the men that we once loved and now despise.  We talk about how he's a liar, cheap, cheater, sex fiend, and any other negative thing we can think of. 

But during this bash session do we ever take responsibility for the role we played.  Singer/songwriter Duffy has a song titled "Hanging On Too Long" Lyrics include (and yes I'm singing it as I type it): "It was just my mistake thinking you cared; My mistake it was false hope thinking we'd last."  Sometimes we get so caught up in what the douche did we forget what we did. 

Emotions can cause temporary blindness.  We do not see the obvious lies.  We act as if we do not see the text from the other girls.  We act as if we do not see his inconsistencies or the other numerous things that made him a "dog".  We turn a blind eye to the disrespectful comments he makes.  And we do all these things for way longer than we should have (in other words, the first time he did these things we should made a dash for the door).  We committed the ultimate relationship crime:  Hanging on Too Long.  When the relationship becomes stressful, painful, or a crime to our self-worth it is time to let go immediately.  We are naturally emotional and forgive way too easy at times.  We are optimistic and like to think that the man will change and be the prince charming that we want him to be.  Too often, the frog never becomes our prince but stays a slimy bloated amphibian.  So instead of calling the girls for that weekly bash session, throw away the Chinese takeout (or keep it, Shrimp fried rice is always good.), put on your big girl panties, and show the dog, frog, or whatever your animal of choice the door.  It might be difficult but your heart will thank you for it later. 

For your listening pleasure, here is the song I referenced in my blog: