Miley Cyrus wanted us all to know that she is no longer Hannah Montana. If you thought that for one second, Ms. Cyrus killed that thought with her performance. I have no idea what I was suppose to get out of it. There were huge teddy bears, girls twerking, a really big booty girl twerking, a foam finger, and a plastic bikini. I wish I could have been in on the creative team's meeting when they discussed this "idea". I actually wish I was on the creative team so I could have backhanded everyone that came up with this concept and then came up with a better one. But unfortunately, for Miley Cyrus. I was not on the creative team and her performance was a hot mess.
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You knew from the get-go it was going to be a disaster. The moment she stepped out of that fuzzy teddy bear with her tongue sticking out for the world to see, you just knew it was going downhill. Then for the rest of the performance she felt impelled to continue to show us her reptile-like tongue. She was also doing this weird crump dance and groping herself. She officially ended the popular dance formerly known as "twerking." She twerked towards the audience, she twerked on the teddy bears, she put her face on someone else's booty while they twerked; there was just too much twerking for one performance. What made her twerking worse was that she was terrible at it. Like, she wasn't even that white girl that surprises everyone with her dancing moves. Her dance moves were horrific. There was nothing graceful about her performance. Dancing is most definitely not one of her strengths, twerking or not.Some have said that this was her moving into womanhood moment. Well, it was not a smooth transition. Madonna, Brittney Spears, and Christina Aguilera all had their coming of age moment, but I don't remember it being uncomfortable for those watching. At one point, Miley was bent over in front of Robin Thicke. He is old enough to be her cool uncle. I get that she wants to shake her Disney image but this was the worst way to have done that. It felt like she had watched a marathon of videos on BET and thought she was a bonafide video dancer. And apparently, she thought hanging with black girls would automatically make her "down". Were these the black girls she was speaking of in "Party in the USA" song? Probably not.
Miley, this performance was not lady-like. You will now be the butt of every comedians jokes. I can only imagine the SNL sketch that is going to be done in your behalf. If your goal was to have people talking about you then you succeeded. But honey, I do not think you got the attention you wanted.