Thursday, April 28, 2011


Okay I know this post is not about poverty (once again) but I feel the need to write about this.  So I just finished watching the latest episode of Glee title 'I Was Born This Way' and it was beautiful and awesome.  I don't want to give way the episode but the subject matter was loving everything about yourself including the things you wish with all your might you could change.  The whole episode made me cry and made me remember when I was in high school. 

I would like to think that I had a pretty cool high school experience but like any other teen girl I had my insecurities with my looks and body.  I was an honor grad, on student council, class treasurer, participated in the plays, was a part of the competitive speech team, participated in the plays, and voted by faulty and staff for Outstanding Standing Senior, and voted Most Unique by my class.  But at the same time I was very insecure about size and looks.  I was chubby and dark skin.  When I looked in the mirror, I saw an average girl, nothing special.  Even though I had many friends and have memories from high school that will last me a lifetime, there were many times I went to bed frustrated that I couldn't lose weight.  I felt that if I could lose at least 15 to 20 pounds I could get the guys of my dreams (which I saw on facebook not too long ago and could not for the life of me figure out why I liked him) or maybe I would feel prettier. 

It would take a lot of encouragement  and long conversations from my mother and sister to help me realize that I'm not average....I'm BEAUTIFUL.  It took my sister telling me how we are all made in God's image and if you are calling yourself ugly then you are calling a creation of God's ugly.  This has stuck with me until this very day.  Whenever I would start to tear myself down I would think about what my sister told me.  But just like the sneaky person that the Devil is, he will always try to use your weakness against you to knock you back where you use to be.  So even though I'm in a place where I love myself (both the good and what others might not find attractive), I have been tested.

There is an event in my life that very few people know about me.  At first I was ashamed to tell the story because I felt that it said something bad about me.  But I'm strong enough in myself to tell the story.  When I was in college I went out for a sorority.  I would find out a month later that I did not get it.  It would be the first time that I went out for something school related and did not get it.  I could not understand for the life of me why I did not get it.  I always felt like I was a good asset to any group.  I soon felt myself going back to those feelings of insecurity.  Thinking that maybe I was not pretty enough to be in a sorority.  That maybe if I looked different that would have chose me.  I quickly got rid of those feelings because I knew there was not a thing wrong with me.  I instead turned it around on them.  It was their lost that they could not see how awesome I am.  The love I had for myself help me bounce back for something I realized later that I did not need in the first place. 

I LOVE myself.  If I never lose one pound and even if I am as dark as a chocolate bar, I was born this way and I embrace it, just like everyone should.  What I thought was bad about me actually was what made me unique.  I hope this post reaches someone who really need it and also go look at the latest episode of glee, it will inspire self love also. 

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