Socially Awkward Forever

Hey everybody!! Sorry for neglecting you guys.  I know I have been off my blog game lately.  But I am back!

I have a confession I need to make: My name is Ebony and I am socially awkward.  I am not a fan of small talk. I get anxious when I am in a room of people I do not know.  I do not always know how to end phone conversations.   And I never know what to say at funerals.  Whoo, it felt good to get that off my chest. Until now, I hated my socially awkward ways.

One night I was bored and decided to watch Awkward Black Girl on Youtube.  After one episode I fell in love.  Within 2 days I had watch both seasons.  Where had Issa Rae (creator of Awkward Black Girl) been all my life?  Like seriously, why are we not best friends?  I could relate to every episode dealing with dating, making friends, socializing at parties, and getting a new job. 

Here is the first episode to start you off





I think Issa has been secretly watching me for the last 25 years and decided to make a Youtube series from her observations.  But she hadn't and she was talking about her life.  She was a success because she accepted who she was and was not trying to change it.  Then I had a epiphany:  I can be awkward and be good at stuff.  Issa had taught me to embrace my weird ways.  It is what makes me...me. 

There were times I wish I could be smooth like the popular folks in college.  Now I did not want to hang with them too much because of a lot of them were elitist douche bags  but I did wish I had their smooth ways.  But it seemed like when I tried to be "cool" I actually made myself seem even more awkward.  I remember when I was in college and I was in RA training.  The room was packed and I unpurposely ended up sitting next to some Black Greeks (If you know anything about Black Greeks, they can instantly make you feel your cool level is nonexistent).  One of them made a joke and I tried to chime in by laughing too.  Needless, to say it was a bust.  They kind of glared at me like "Who gave you permission to laugh at our cool jokes? You ain't cool." 

At 25, I have come to the realization that I am socially awkward.  But not only have I come to that realization but also I can't say that I want to change it.  I love telling my roomie and other friends my awkward interaction stories.  I have stories for days about not  remembering who the president of the organization I work for is and calling my roomie Celie instead of Sydney the first few months we knew each other.  It makes my life seem so much more interesting.  You can keep your smoothness.  I will take my weird social interactions any day.