I’m in no way a relationship expert. Lord knows I have made more than a few mistakes in the love department. I’m also not so fond of those relationship memes. You know the ones that read “Find a man that finds your love as vital as oxygen” or “Don’t chase. Stop. Turn around. Look….There he is” or “Love is not a game but a journey” or some other mushy statement that makes me gag. I’m not anti-love but when women post these quotes 20 times a day it screams “I’m single and hopelessly looking for love. When will someone love me?” I’m sorry but I can’t deal.
But today I found one of these love memes that explained everything I want in a man perfectly:
Yaaaaassssssssss!! I’ve been looking for the words to describe the type of relationship I want and some humble anonymous poet put it on a flea market chalk board. The love Kanye has for Kanye is real love. It’s the kind of love that will stand the test of time. Forget Romeo & Juliet, I want to see Kanye & West. Get me a Hallmark card with this quote on the inside, stat.
I want a man that will recognize me for the creative genius that I am. He will put me on the same level as Walt Disney and William Shakespeare. He will repeatedly tell people how great I am even when not inquired about it. He’ll be like:
“Ebony’s skin is softer than a million lambs and her hair is shinier than all the Brazilian hair weaves in the world.”
“Sir, all I asked was do you want waffle or curly fries?”
“Curly fries don’t deserve to be in Ebony’s presence. Waffle fries with an extra honey mustard.”
“That extra honey mustard is going to cost you 25 cents.”
“Blasphemy! Why does Ebony have to live in a world that is so cruel and greedy?”
Who doesn’t want someone like that?
You will never have to worry about being in second place when you getting that Kanye type of love. You not getting the props you think you deserve from your employer? That special someone that lives by the Kanye love code will be on your job bright and early in the morning telling that employer that they are making a huge mistake by not recognizing your greatness. They are committing crimes against humanity by not highlighting every second of every work day the tenacious worker you are. He will then demand the Director relinquishes their duties and hand them to you. Yep, sign me up for that type of love right away.
Stop giving your heart to lames. Stop crying over scrubs. Find you a man or woman that will constantly, unnecessarily tell everybody about your greatness.
Does your mate live by the Kanye love code?