#MyWeightMyIssue

I recently went on a tangent on Twitter about how others who have never had a weight issue feel obligated to suggest to others what they need to do about their weight.  Some “smaller” people think that losing weight can happen overnight.  “All you have to do is eat right and exercise and then you will see the weight fade away” says the skinny girl with high metabolism who has never in her life had a roll (the ones on your back, not on your plate).  On this post, I dub myself as the unofficial spokeswoman for the thicker girls who have had a constant battle with their weight.  Here are just a few tips that will help you talk (or not talk) to a thicker woman about her weight:

1.       If you are not a doctor, do not start jumping on people about their weight.  Sometimes people that do this are not always sensitive about their approach.  You could really be hurting somebody’s feelings if you do not watch how your words come out.

2.       Big people know they are big; we do not need anybody to make this known to us.  We do not need your “Girl, when did you pick up all that weight? Did you have a baby?” Believe me when I say we are reminded that we are a little on the heavy side every time we suck in to button up a pair of jeans.

3.       Most of us are trying to make an effort.  Rather you know this or not, most of us are trying to do better with our health.  As a family and consumer science major, I took a lot of nutritious classes and I know you have to make lifestyle changes.  Losing weight is more than just taking a pill or drinking some special shake (both of which I do not trust).  Losing weight means making a pattern of preparing a meal at home versus eating out and exercising most days of the week.  These changes for some take awhile to make permanent. 

4.       We are allowed a treat every now and again.  “Smaller” folks believe that all bigger people can eat is rice cakes and carrot sticks.  And when these “smaller” people see bigger people eating anything else, they start to judge.  I believe that anything is okay in moderation.  It is important that fruits and vegetables make up a huge part of the diet but it is okay to have a cupcake every once in awhile. 

5.       We should not be stressed out about our weight.  My weight has been something I have battled with all my life.  I have come to the decision that I will lose weight at my own pace.  I will only lose weight for myself and no one else and that includes family, friends, or a man.  Since it is my weight, I will deal with it as I see fit.  When you stress a woman out about her weight it does not help her but hinders her.  In some cases, it could affect her self-esteem.

I do not believe all “smaller” people mean to hurt thick people but some just do not care.  Encouragement is fine but be aware of what you say.  What you find as words of encouragement could be words of destruction.

Also if you are not already follow me on twitter, @EbonyMarieRe.  I might have some other tangents in the future. 

#TrayvonMartinProsecuteAsHateCrime?

The tragic case of Trayvon Martin has been getting more attention by the day.  Celebrities and new outlets are bringing attention to this story.  Users on Facebook and Twitter have been reposting stories and news updates on the case of the unarmed 17-year-old black teen that was shot by a self appointed neighborhood watch leader.  A lot of people are looking at the case from a racial point of view.  Black teen wearing a hoodie, jeans, and sneakers is shot down by a white man.  Of course, there must have been a racial motive.  But the fact is that this was not a white man but a Hispanic man who shot this young man.  And as his father told reporters that he [George Zimmerman] is not a racist because he grew up in a multicultural family and apparently mentors black youth in his neighborhood.  And that is why I feel the prosecution should not focus on racism but focus that this man’s careless, irrational actions are the cause of the death of Trayvon Martin.

After being told by 911 not to follow the young man, Zimmerman left the safety of his vehicle to follow Martin.  Zimmerman did not have any reasonable cause or authority to confront Martin.  Zimmerman is not even a part of the national organization for Neighborhood Watch which in their bylaws has specified that watch leaders are not to carry weapons.  Trayvon was not in any way on Zimmerman’s personal property.  This information alone should debunk Zimmerman’s self defense claim.  Not to mention the fact that Martin is 140 pounds and Zimmerman is 250 pounds.  When the police arrived, all that was found on Martin was a bag of Skittles and a bottle of ice tea.  There was no need for this type of deadly force to be used by Zimmerman.

On the 911 calls you can hear Martin yelling for help.  Anybody who is attacking someone and possibly winning is not yelling for help.  After the cries for help you hear gun shots on the 911 calls.  Trayvon was also on the phone moments before he was shot and describing to the caller that he was being followed.  It is obvious that Martin knew he was in trouble and not trying to attack anyone but maybe was trying to defend his self.  Martin had the reputation of being a cheerful A and B honor roll student and did not have a history of getting in trouble with the law.  I do not suppose that he chose this night to engage in a life of crime. 

I feel the prosecution can build a better case by focusing on the fact that an innocent young man was murdered by an overly zealous vigilante.  All the evidence is there: calls, witnesses, and past histories (Zimmerman has called 911 46 times since January 2012).  Do not get me wrong, I do believe that this man is a very ignorant man and it is possible he thought Martin looked “suspicious” because he was black, but when it comes to this particular case race should not be the focus.  All in all, I hope justice is served. 

#GuiltyPleasure:RHOA

As the title points out my guilty pleasure is Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Other women reality shows have burnt their bonds with me (Basketball Wives and Love & Hip Hop) but these Georgia Peaches do not give me Champaign bottle tossing and hair pulling brawls but they give me just enough drama to keep me wanting to tune in every week.  These past two weeks did not leave me disappointed.

Last week’s episode had the ladies back in Atlanta after their drama-filled trip in Africa.  Ms. Sheree “I have my Gucci bags and my dirt lot to keep me company” Whitfield comes back dishing all the tea and her tea is anything but sweet.  She informs Kim that Kandi was talking trash about how she could not see Kim holding “black babies.”  When they showed the flashback clip of the conversation Sheree is referring to, Kandi clearly does not say anything about Kim not wanting to hold a black baby.  Kim being naive believes everything Sheree tells her without even hearing Kandi’s side of the story.  (Just to remind you, about two or three seasons ago Sheree was trying to pull Kim’s wig off her head. Now they are best friends.)  But let’s keep it real, Sheree knows who butters her bread and that person is Bravo.  Sheree is trying to keep up the drama because she is not trying to get Deshawn Snowed (Remember her? If not, look at Season 1 line-up).  You all saw that dirt lot, Sheree cannot afford to get kicked off this show.

Something else that has happen is Nene’s  son, Bryson, went to jail for stealing razors from Wal-Mart (Two $14 razors to be exact).  These women, particularly Nene and Sheree, are not shy about talking about all their name brand clothes and handbags.  So it is hard for me to understand why Nene’s son shoplifted something so simple.  Razors? Really?! Bryson, I could have given you some change on a razor and I do not even get “Trump Checks.”  I agree with Nene, she should have left him in jail for the full 30 days.  By the way, I like Nene’s motherly side. 

Now let’s get to Cynthia.  I am really on the fence when it comes to Cynthia.  Cynthia is missing something…..ummmm, oh yea, a backbone.  Now I believe that you are suppose to respect your husband as head of household but when he convinces you to give him $1,000 of your own money so you can impress the guests who are going to be at the party that is where you should draw the line.  Peter going to have him and Cynthia in the poor house trying to impress the “socialites” aka posers of Atlanta.  And also, who throws a big fancy party for a ONE year anniversary.  Peter and Cynthia should have went to Red Lobster and called it a night.  After he spends all her money that is the only “fancy” restaurant they are going to be able to afford.  And how he called Mallory out at the party was so childish.  Peter needs a dose of “grow-up.”  I need Mallory to get her nose out of Cynthia’s marriage and let her [Cynthia] realize on her own that she has married a hot mess. 

Okay, guys I that was my recap of just some of the highlights of RHOA.  Stay tuned because I am sure that these ladies are going to give me more material to write on. 

#Kony2012

Diddy, Jennifer Hudson, Kevin Hart, and George Clooney are just a few celebrities that are bringing attention to the title of this post.  For a day and a half, #stopkony, Uganda, and Invisible Children have been trending.  On your newsfeed, you might have seen links to Youtube titled Kony 2012.  If you have not have not heard by now about what Kony 2012 is, then simply put, it is to make a man famous. 

Famous for what you might ask? Nobel Peace Prize Winner? Saved a baby from a well? Found the cure to cancer?  Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with anything positive or uplifting.  Joseph Kony has started a pointless war (as far as I am concerned most of them are but I digress) in Uganda where he abducts children from their homes and turn the boys into young soldiers and the girls into sex slaves.  In some cases, the soldiers have had to kill their parents.  If a child refuses to not be a part of the war effort, they risk being mutilated or killed.  The Youtube video says that he has accumulated 30,000 children for his unnecessary war. 

I have stated before that I do not write on current events or jump on bandwagons unless I have researched both sides of the story and considered everyone involved.  I was not a journalist major but I try to have a journalist approach with stories as sensitive as this one.  With that said the rest of this post is about what has been told to us and what others have had to say about the matter. 

Around March 5, a video was released on Youtube describing who Kony was and what needs to be done.  A couple of days later the video had over 1 million views.  The video instructs viewers to make the name known (do this by tweeting celebrities and contacting policy makers) so that policy makers will see that people care and possibly continue to send U.S. troops to Uganda to advise the army there, who are trying to catch Kony.    The video also ask viewers to donate what they can and then they will get an action kit.  In the action kit you get braclets, posters, and stickers that have Kony 2012 printed on them.  You are to put these items up in your community to inform those in your community about Kony. 

The video not only pulls, but grabs tightly at your heart strings.  When I was done watching the video I was ready to post Kony 2012 poster all over central Arkansas

With any cause you have your critics.  Some have said that the video makes it seem as if we kill Kony then the country of Uganda will magically become this booming society.  Others have said that the footage of Uganda we see in the video is over 6 years old.  And even others have said that the non-profit has spent more money on films, salaries, and office space than on the ground in Uganda.  The video is said to be misinforming people by saying that Kony is still in Uganda.  According to reports, he has not been in Uganda for years. 

Relief workers in Uganda have been in some way insulted by this video making it seem as if there has not been any effort done by those who are in Uganda such as Betty Bigombe.  I am not writing this post to make short of the efforts of Invisible Children but before you jump on any cause step back and see the bigger picture.  In this case, is finding and killing Joseph Kony going to poof-be-gone the problems in Uganda?

To read more about what is going on in Uganda, click here

#ByeMoesha?

So sorry for not making a post in awhile, but I have not had too much time to write.  With this being the last week in Black History Month, I am going to talk about my favorite black shows that did not get a last episode.  Back when we had actual sitcoms on television instead of all the reality TV mess (I’m over the Basketball Wives, Mob Wives, should be called Hot Mess Ex-Wives) there were some good TV shows.  The late 90’s and early 2000’s gave us some great shows like Moesha, Girlfirends, and Everybody Hates Chris.  And unfortunately all these shows went off the air without as much as a goodbye. 

Black shows leaving television without a series finale is not new.  In the 80’s, Sherman Hemsley better known as George Jefferson from The Jeffersons found out that the show was canceled by reading it in the paper.  I am not one to throw the “race card” but black shows do not always get the respecting farewell they deserve.  I will always have a bitter place in my heart for these shows’ abrupt exit:

Moesha If you were a young black person in the mid-90’s, every Monday night your TV was on UPN and you were glued to your screen watching the latest Moesha episode.  We literally watched Brandy grow up before our eyes.  We loved her girls, Kim and Niecy.  And toward the end we were torn between Moesha choosing between Hakeem and Q.  The last season the show took a very serious turn.  We found out that Dorian or “D-Money” was Frank’s son instead of his nephew and Moesha was in her feelings about that every week.  Then the next to last episode leaves us with a cliff hanger: Myles gets kidnapped.  Then the next week…… no show and no explanation of why there was no show.  I felt cheated considering that I had supported the show for so long.  Yes, I am STILL bitter about this.

Girlfriends I LOVED this show.  It was truly the black version of Sex and The City.  This show took not so famous black actresses and made them famous.  Joan, Toni, Maya, and Lynn gave us LIFE every week.  And William was freakin awesome considering the fact he was the only male lead on the show.  Every week we wondered if Joan would find love and we cheered Maya on for her book Oh, Hell Naw. The first downfall was when Jill Marie Jones (Toni) left the show.  William’s new wife I guess was supposed to take her place, but the show was never quite the same.  Then Joan finally got a man but in pure Joan fashion something had to be wrong.  In this case, her fiancé was in Iraq for the war.  So we were not sure if we would see her get married or not.  Around this same time, TV writers went on strike and some shows suffered including Girlfriends.  Girlfriends never got a finale but, hey, at least we got a spin-off, The Game (by the way, is anyone still watching that show?).

Everybody Hates Chris For this last show I might be at fault for this show not having a finale.  This show had a slow start. It was based off the comedian Chris Rock’s life.  Tichina Arnold (aka Pam from Martin) played Rochelle, Chris’s mom.   And she was just as hilarious on this show as she was Martin. Tyler James Williams played the title character and he was hilarious. Terry Crews played Chris’ penny-pitching dad, Julius (You just spilled 42 cents of milk on that table, lol).  The next to last episode left the same way Moesha left us, with a cliffhanger.  We were left wondering if Chris ever got his GED. What I do remember about this show is that it premiered during the transition from UPN to CW and CW started moving the black shows to all these weird times.  So honestly, I never knew the show’s timeslot.  By the time we realized this was a good show, it had already been cancelled.  But we can still check out the reruns on BET.

As I was writing this post I realized all these shows were on the once UPN network.  This was the channel that was giving our shows a chance to thrive and get a fan base.  These shows showed black people in a positive light and I will always love these shows for that.  I hate they did not get their farewells but I like to think that these casts will reassemble and give us the finale we (or at least me) want to see.  *crosses fingers

#WhitneyHouston:LegendAndLesson

February 11, 2012 we lost a legend in the music industry, Ms. Whitney Houston.  No matter race, nationality, gender, age, or music preference, all knew Whitney Houston and her music.  Throughout the 80’s and 90’s, Ms. Houston became an international star.  People could not believe such a huge, beautiful voice came out of such a small woman.  Whitney could hit notes very few vocalists could.  I have many memories of listening to my Whitney Houston tapes (yes, I am a child of the 90’s) in my room and trying my best to hit the notes (and failing terribly) the way she did.  Over and over again, I would sing How Will I Know, Greatest Love of All, Saving All My Love, and You Give Good Love.  I had both Waiting to Exhale and The Preacher’s Wife soundtrack on tape and listened and learned all of Whitney’s songs.  As a child, I wished I had just a 1/4 of what Whitney had. 

Like me, many artists also looked up to Whitney Houston.  Jennifer Hudson and Brandy are artists that have said that Houston was one of their early influences. No one in the industry can deny that Whitney Houston was one of the greatest voices of our time.  Houston made it possible for Beyonce and Rihanna to crossover from R&B to Pop.  Along with her music, she has starred in classics like Waiting to Exhale, The Preacher’s Wife and The Bodyguard.  And we cannot forget her signature hit I Will Always Love You, which very few vocalists are able to cover. 

But along with her success she also had her struggles.  Cissy Houston, Whitney’s mother, once said in an interview that she did not want her daughter to get involved in the music industry because of the dangers of it.  We were given a front row seat to those dangers.  Whitney would admit in interviews with Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey about her drug use.  Magazines and blog sites showed us pictures of Whitney being at a frightening small size and sweating profusely.  She had started to cancel shows and when she would do a show her voice was not the same big, beautiful voice that we remembered.  Some blamed her now ex-husband Bobby Brown for her behavior.  Regardless, we saw a singer we all know and love be broken down by something that was bigger than her.

Since her passing, some would prefer that her past with drug abuse not be brought up in conversation.  I also agree that we should remember more of her successes than her struggles but her struggles should at some point be discussed.  And not to taint her memory but so anyone struggling with addictions can see what could happen to them if they do not get their life in control.  I know that the autopsy reports have not come back so we do not know the cause of her death.  But let her struggles be a reference of how a substance that can fit in the palm of your hand can take down even the biggest stars.

I Will Always Love Whitney Houston

#AmosAndAndyBannedBlackHistory

I originally wrote this back in July 2011.  To jump off Black History Month, I have chose to repost for your enlightment.  Read futher about how NAACP banned a piece of Black History

"Today I watched a documentary on the first all black cast tv show 'Amos and Andy'.  This past June the show turned 60 years old.  If you have never heard of the show, it's excusable.  The show has not been seen in syndication since 1966.  The NAACP had it banned from tv forever because they felt it portrayed black people in a "negative light."  Well, I got to see an episode and I have to admit that I did not share the same conclusion with the NAACP.  So I have to ask, was it really necessary for the NAACP to ban this show?
Let's remember that the show was made in the 1950's, not the most political correct era.  The premise of the show was Kingfish was always doing these get-rich-quick schemes and most of the time he would dupe Andy in the scheme.  Amos was the narrator in the show.  Let it be known that none of the actors or actresses in the show ever felt degraded while playing these characters. They were actually proud to be on a show where black people were being depicted as professionals rather than maids and butlers.  Were they being silly and exaggerated?  Well of course, it's a comedy!  Ernestine Wade, the actress who played Sapphire, brought out the point that you don't watch a comedy to be educated.  Marla Gibbs, best known as Florence on The Jeffersons and Mary on 227, also brought out that it was a good show and the show was not saying that this was how all black people acted.  But that we all knew someone who acted like these characters. 
Which brings me to my next point: was it really necessary to ban the show from tv forever? As stated before the NAACP fought CBS from the show's premier to get the show off the air.  They saw it as an extreme negative portrayal of black people.  What they did not see was a show that was making it possible for future shows like 'I Spy', 'The Cosbys', 'Family Matters' and 'The Game'.  They did not see a show that broke the stereotypes by providing roles to black performers where they were doctors, lawyers, and businessmen.  All they could see was black people being silly on television ( as I stated before the show was a comedy). 
When I watch television today I'm more appalled at what we do allow on tv to represent black people ( Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives, Soul Plane).  All these shows set our race back a whole lot further than 'Amos and Andy'.   What the NAACP did was ban a part of black history.  I think the NAACP needs a sense of humor."