Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Deebo Baby

Last week, I watched a video, not once, not twice, but 30 times.  And I cackled louder each time (sorry to my surrounding neighbors).  This video is what I have titled Deebo Baby:

Whose devil baby is this and why is he so angry?  Had the person that was filming been antagonizing him and he snapped?  Who forgot to warm up his bottle?  And he is hella strong.  That first lick sounded like it left a bruise on homegirl’s arm.  He probably got strength behind that hit from that running head start.  Those little legs were fast. But that look at the end was what made me hit the floor.  He gave that “I wish I you would…” look.

First I got to let my inner-black momma out:

I wish a child would put his hands on me.  No child I give birth to will hit me once or twice.  Baby boy would have caught the back of my hand before he made it across that room.  If any child living in my house run up on me he better hit me in the knee and immobilize me because when I get a hold of him it’s going down *in my Kevin Hart voice.  If you bold enough to ball your fists up, you better knock me out cold with the first hit because that will be the last hit.  You won’t have to worry about losing your baby teeth one by one because you are losing all of them in that very moment as soon as that little fist makes contact.  And why you at it fix your face before I fix for you.

But who he mad at though?
Deebo Baby was not ready for bedtime and he wanted homegirl to know it.  And just in case she wasn’t sure, he gave her the Ike Turner-eye to remind her.  I can only imagine him at daycare, punking all the kids for their juice boxes and napping mats.  These kids are out of control in 2014 and Deebo Baby is leading the pack. 

What would you do if you met Deebo Baby in an alley?

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