#PubliclyDiscipliningYourChild

When I was about 4 years old I had to go to a work meeting with my mom.  I can remember it was my mother's pay day and that meant that we were going to eat at McDonald's.  Like any 4 year old, I was impatient and not looking forward to sitting in an hour meeting.  So I chose to express my dislike of my mom's work meeting by throwing a temper tantrum.  My mother had a way of dealing with temper tantrums...a belt.  My mother looked down at me and told me in a calm voice "You just wait to we get home."  At that point, I knew that our bi-weekly trip to McDonald's was cancelled. 

I want to point out that my mom chose to discipline me when we got home.  There are some parents that need to take note of this.  Lately, parents have had the bright idea of disciplining their children in front of a camera and posting it online to sites like Youtube.  Back a couple of months, a young man who had taken on the role of playing father figure decided to punish his "play" son on video.  He did not whoop the child on camera but you could hear the child crying off screen.  The "father figure" then shaved the boy's head and made him run physical drills outside.  In another case, a man recorded himself whooping his nephew after finding out the young man was in a gang (Unfortunately, in this case the young man was found shot to death, possibly linked to his gang affiliation).  I feel in both cases the men's hearts were in the right place, but the execution was poor (I purposely chose not to post the videos on here because I do not agree with their tactics).

There is a difference between discipline and humiliation. A child learns from discipline and becomes a better person.  Humiliation can be damaging to a child, especially if this humiliation is put on the Internet (what is put on the Internet stays on the Internet forever).  No person should have to be repeatedly humiliated after they have initially been punished.  Note to Parents: Discipline your child when needed but the rest of the world does not need a front row viewing of it. 

#HangingOnTooLong

Have you ever said the words: "Why are men so sex crazed?", "Where are all the good men?".  Or let's not forget this classic: "He's a dog!" We, women, have been using these lines to describe the opposite sex since  our attraction with them began (Even though it has never been recorded I am pretty sure Eve had some choice words for Adam every now and again).  When our delicate hearts are broken we call our girls, order some Chinese take out and have an all out word brawl about the men that we once loved and now despise.  We talk about how he's a liar, cheap, cheater, sex fiend, and any other negative thing we can think of. 

But during this bash session do we ever take responsibility for the role we played.  Singer/songwriter Duffy has a song titled "Hanging On Too Long" Lyrics include (and yes I'm singing it as I type it): "It was just my mistake thinking you cared; My mistake it was false hope thinking we'd last."  Sometimes we get so caught up in what the douche did we forget what we did. 

Emotions can cause temporary blindness.  We do not see the obvious lies.  We act as if we do not see the text from the other girls.  We act as if we do not see his inconsistencies or the other numerous things that made him a "dog".  We turn a blind eye to the disrespectful comments he makes.  And we do all these things for way longer than we should have (in other words, the first time he did these things we should made a dash for the door).  We committed the ultimate relationship crime:  Hanging on Too Long.  When the relationship becomes stressful, painful, or a crime to our self-worth it is time to let go immediately.  We are naturally emotional and forgive way too easy at times.  We are optimistic and like to think that the man will change and be the prince charming that we want him to be.  Too often, the frog never becomes our prince but stays a slimy bloated amphibian.  So instead of calling the girls for that weekly bash session, throw away the Chinese takeout (or keep it, Shrimp fried rice is always good.), put on your big girl panties, and show the dog, frog, or whatever your animal of choice the door.  It might be difficult but your heart will thank you for it later. 

For your listening pleasure, here is the song I referenced in my blog:

#BlackFriday:EmployeesFightBack

Turkey Day is approaching and the next biggest day is approaching as well, BLACK FRIDAY!  This day has been deemed as the biggest shopping day of the year.  This is a time when you can get iPads, flat screens TVs, laptops, etc. for the low low.  People camp outside starting at 10pm the night before to be first to get the lowest deals.  And depending what state you are in you could be camping outside in ice and snow.  As we study the sales paper and make detailed plans of which stores we want to hit at 3am to get that special deal, employees are fighting back about this year’s Black Friday Event.

Instead of opening at 3am or 4am in the morning, some stores have chosen to open at midnight.  There are even some stores opening at 9pm that Thanksgiving night.  Employees are outrage at these opening times.  As someone who has worked in retail before (Bath & Body Works and Victoria’s Secret), Black Friday is no day at the theme park and I truly feel for these workers that will be working on Dooms Day as I prefer to call it.  A Target employee has started an online petition (change.org) urging other retail employees to sign it.   These workers feel as if their holiday is being shortened because of the early opening times. 

As far as I am concerned this whole Black Friday rip off is a mess.  A lot of new channels have done news specials on this particular event and have reported that you can get just as many good deals two weeks after Black Friday as you can on Black Friday.  Also, it’s funny how the people that make the decision about the opening times are not the ones who have to be there.  The Regional Mangers, CEOs, or whoever makes these decisions are really not considering their employees’ family time but thinking about their POCKETS.  As of November 16^th, 100,000 people have signed the petition that the Target employee created.  Not being pessimistic but I doubt that this petition is going to change the opening times.  But I hope those of you that read this blog that are planning to participate in Black Friday events will be sympathetic when go shopping.  If they are out of the item you want think twice before you pop off at the mouth at the sales associate; they have probably been there since 9pm the night before.   

#LadiesOfRealityTV

So the last post gave you substance (#thefoodstampchallenge) but now I want to discuss some of the madness that has been going on in this crazy cheap entertainment factory we call Reality TV.  Apparently, when it comes to Reality TV women are #winning (or maybe not).  Just about all the major reality television shows are made up of predominately women.  I guess we as women never shake that overly dramatic, “My life is coming to an end because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t want me” mindset we had as teens.  Whatever the reason, women in the last couple of years have made for good television. 

Just in case you have been living under a rock or, like me, just got cable in the last couple of months and have missed all the prime time drama,  let me update you on the Ladies of Reality TV (Disclaimer: there is not a great deal of lady-like behavior, unfortunately). 

Basketball Wives L.A. Season 1: I really don’t have much to say about this show other than Jackie is ratchet and I am mad that it took the ladies 10 episodes to realize it.  And once again we have another “Wives” show with no wives (now that I think about it there are only 2 wives of 6 on the Real Housewives of Atlanta).

Love and Hip Hop Season 2: I really don’t have much to say about this show other than Chrissy and Nene Leakes have the same requirements in their contracts (Fight.) and Nancy Jones (Rapper Jim Jones’ mother) should never rap again and she needs to stop shopping at Citi Trendz.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 4:  Out of Bravo’s slew of The Real Housewives… series, this one takes the cake, or peach, and rightfully so (Atlanta is the highest rating of The Real Housewives series if I’m not mistaken).  And the season opener did not leave thousands of fans disappointed.  Nene Leakes lets us know episode one that she is “rich” and that she just got done cashing a “Trump Check” (Nene was on last season’s Celebrity Apprentice).  She [Nene] also opens up the season with loudly getting into it, publicly like only Nene can, with Sheree over a business deal.  If you are a long time watcher of the show you know that Nene gets into it with one of the wives every season (I think it is in her contract to do so).  Some other highlights are Kandi Burgess is opening an adult toy line, Kim Zolciak is pregnant by Atlanta Falcon football player, Kory Something, and Phaedra Parks wants to open a funeral home.  And Cynthia is as far as I’m concerned Nene’s “Sweetie”.

Braxton Family Values Season 2: I am ecstatic.net that this show came back for another season and boy is it going to be a heck of a season.org.  We got a glimpse during season one of who Toni Braxton (Grammy award winner R&B singer) and her sisters were.  Last season ended with the question will there be an album with all the Braxton sisters on it.  It was obvious at the end of season one that Toni was not feeling it.  Traci (the second crunkest sister after Tamar) really wants to start her singing career with her sisters, going as far as to uproot her family in Maryland and move to Atlanta.  But her sisters have other ventures in mind: Towanda wants to start acting, Trina and Tamar are working on solo projects, and Toni wants to do what she’s been doing, being an award winning solo act.  Two other highlights are Mother Evelyn is going to “slap the piss” out of Tamar if she ever gets disrespectful with her again and Trina thought it was okay to move Towanda, her loud kids, and Towanda’s soon-to-be-trifling ex-husband in her house without consulting her [Trina] husband first.

I hope that I did not overload you with all the hot messness that is reality TV.  Stay tuned as the drama unfolds. 



#TakingTheFoodStampChallenge

I am so sorry to my loyal readers for not putting any posts out in awhile.  Things have been crazy! (Got a new truck and trying to think of a cute name for it. Any suggestions?).  But I want to come back with a post with some substance (then the next post will be about the hot messness that is going on in entertainment).  At the beginning of the year I was working with SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistant Program formerly known as Food Stamps) Outreach.  After working with this program for 8 months (and also being a participate in the program for a short while) it became an issue that was close to my heart.  So I became very irked at the possible cuts to be made to SNAP.   Just as a reminder I am not a political science major so when I speak about politics I keep it very simple.  So the short of it is that the super committee (a committee that was put together to figure out how to solve America’s huge debt problem) might consider cutting funding to SNAP to solve the debt problem.  Because that’s how you fix America’s debt, kick the neediest in the stomach (literally). 

news clip of me discussing the issue

Some Congressmen, student leader groups, and other groups around the country are participating in the SNAP Challenge to prove just how vital this program is to those that need it.  Some groups have even started Facebook groups and encouraged others to share their experience on the page.  The challenge is this: Spend $28 a week, which is about $4 a day for food (this is what some SNAP recipients have to do on a regular basis, maybe lower if these cuts happen).  Then share your experience in a blog, Facebook page, Twitter, etc.  I especially want people who think SNAP is wasteful spending to take this challenge and experience what someone who has recently lost job has to endure on a day to day basis. 

If you are willing to take this challenge please let me know.  I will be more than willing to let you use my blog to tell your story. 

#MyLoveHateRelationshipWithBeyonce

For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time or if you do not know me personally, you might not know about my love/hate relationship with Beyonce.  It has taken me awhile to jump on the “Beyonce is the Best Performer of Our Generation” bandwagon.  It was never because I did not believe she could sing or dance but for me it spans back to the early years of Destiny’s Child.

If you were a preteen or teen in 1998 you remember Destiny’s Child first single “No, No, No” (Part 2 to be exact).  It was a catchy tune and it alright on the Billboard charts.  Without any other single I was won by this young R&B girl group.  During this time I was impressed by everything Destiny’s Child did: their outfits (designed by Tina Knowles), their videos, and there was not a song I did not know.  I even had the chance to see the original Destiny’s Child in concert in Memphis, TN in 1999.  By the summer I had Writings on the Wall and knew every song.  Then one day in 2000, I was watching 106 & Park and there were two new members in the “Say My Name” video.  I felt hurt and betrayed (Sounds dramatic but as I said I was a preteen during this time).  A couple of singles later, the group would be down to 3: Beyonce Knowles, Kelly Rowland, and Michelle Williams.  And this would begin my love/hate relationship with Beyonce. 



This infamous video





I blamed Beyonce for breaking up the best girl group since TLC.  I seriously did not like her.  As we all know Beyonce sang lead on every song.  Every now and again Kelly got to sing on a hook and Michelle was stuck in the background (I think she was just happy for the exposure).  It was obvious that Beyonce was getting ready for her solo career and she just used this girl group as a stepping stone.  My friends called me a hater for blaming Beyonce and told me that it was her father, Matthew Knowles that had caused this drama.  But I was convinced that Beyonce knew all along that her father’s main interest was her career and the other girls were casualties in this war we call the music industry (apparently I am just as dramatic as I was in my preteens).  So it was my goal to continue to NOT support her solo projects as revenge  for the former members of Destiny’s Child. 

I have stuck to my goal…kinda.  Even though I bought Beyonce’s first solo CD, Dangerously in Love, I did not buy the second one B-Day (I swear she re-released that CD 16 times).  I do have to admit that my fav Beyonce song is “Upgrade You” which was on B-Day, but I digress.  Every movie she was in, I judged her acting…HARD.  I criticized her immensely for the roles she chose (most of her early acting jobs she portrayed singers.  Way to branch out Beyonce).  As far as I was concerned she had a long way to go before she would be at the Academy Awards accepting an award for Best Anything.  Then I Am Sasha Fierce came out and I had to wave the white flag on my war against everything Beyonce.  I was in love (no homo). 

For a year straight, I played I Am Sasha Fierce on my Iphone and can probably do the dance backwards and forwards to “Single Ladies”.  Yes, I anticipated the video for each song on the CD and even started trying to catch her performances on all talk shows and award shows.  I hate to admit this but I almost cried when she announced her pregnancy at the 2011 VMAS.  I will admit that I have mixed emotions about her latest album, 4.  In an interview on The View, concerning her most recent album she said that she was not concerned about radio hits but wanted to make classics ( I digs that).  As of now I respect the artist that she has become but please believe I will continue to throw shade every now and again. 

#FreakinGlee

I HAVE to write about last week's episode of Glee "Asian F".  It was so good!  It had some of my favorite songs, a part from my favorite movie and we got to see a new side of Mike Chang.

RUN THE WORLD: Who run the world? BRITTANY!! So Brittany has decided to run for student council president and for those who watch the show regularly probably laughed at the idea.  But Brittany performed Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce and showed Kurt, her opponent, that she is truly a contender.  Brittany is the best girl dancer on the show (she use to dance back up for Beyonce).  I love it whenever she has a solo performance.  She seriously makes me want to start taking up dance again.  But not only did Brittany kill, but the rest of the girls that were a part of the performance did a killer job too! It was a very energetic performance





DREAMGIRLS ON GLEE:  If you know me, you know that Dreamgirls is in my top 5 musical movies (right after Footlose, the 80's version).  So when Glee did "It's All Over" I almost fell out my chair.  That song and "And I'm Telling You" is the reason why I became a huge fan of Jennifer Hudson.  And I'm pretty sure that if Jennifer Hudson did not get the role, Amber Riley would have been runner up.  She is Effie White on Glee, under appreciated.  I am proud of her for standing up for herself and not being second best to Rachel Berry (by the way, I'm so over her over the top performances.  Seriously, every time she sings I get on twitter until she's done with her 10 minute Broadway ballad.)  I get so tired of Mercedes having to share the spotlight.  Honestly, it would have been cool to see a black Maria (I would go see it.)  Also, I think Mercedes is pregnant.

MIKE FREAKIN' CHANG: So we finally get to see who Mike Chang really is.  I'm ecstatic  how we are getting to see another side of the characters (For awhile it was the Kurt, Quinn, Rachel, and Finn show).  We all know that Mike is the best dancer on the show and Tina's boyfriend but that was as far as his character went.  We are now seeing that his dream is to be an artist.  But like the typical Asian parents we see on all TV shows, his dad wants him to go to an Ivy League School and be a doctor or a lawyer.  Also typical, Mike chose instead to try out for the school musical, West Side Story, and follow his dream. 

Asian F gets an Ebony A+ (sorry for being so corny).  The storyline was good and fresh.  It's always a good episode when the show explores other characters on the show (I love Sue but I get T-I-RED of seeing her trying to destroy the New Directions every week).  I think the next new episode is November 1st but I'm so ready to see it mostly to find out if my prediction is right about Mercedes being pregnant.